Ritual

I love a good ritual.



Really, Renee? Do you really LOVE rituals? Or is "good" the operative term here? And, if so, what makes something a "good" ritual?


Jeez, Inner Critic, back off, will you?? I haven't written a "real" blog post in a long time--and here you are making me all self-conscious!


That's not my intent. I'm just trying to keep you honest. Hadn't you decided that being honest and straightforward were core values for you?


Yes, that's true.


All right, let me try this again. "Love" is probably too strong a word. But there's no single word that captures it for me. I know that I need ritual in my life, and I feel sense of longing if I don't have something to fill that void.


I think I am also drawn to rituals--especially important ones. Like a moth to a flame. Or a bit of metal to a magnet.


Then there's just plain old curiosity. As in, "I had no idea there was an official ritual for that. I wonder what that's like..."


I think that last one was the clincher that compelled me, like iron filings are compelled toward a magnet, to drive downtown today (when I "should" have been scoring math responses to earn money) for the deconsecration of the former Saint Paul's Episcopal Church on Broad Street.


Quite often I find that I have a number of reasons for doing a particular thing. The more good reasons I can think of, the better the chances I will be able to turn impulse into action.

On any given night I might go out to sing karaoke. I can change my clothes, touch up my makeup, and then sit down and start fiddling with something on the computer. I'll look up at the clock from time to time until I finally sigh and say to myself, "Not tonight, I guess..." and then change clothes again for bed.


So I didn't even click "maybe" on the Facebook invite. The decision was truly last minute. I did some water aerobics and then looked at the invite again on my phone. Oh--I'd forgotten this part--the Bishop is going to be there. So it's an Important Ritual. I am SO going to this! (I misspoke a few paragraphs ago--this was the clincher.)


And I'm glad that Rev. Cricket Park had the idea to celebrate one last Eucharist in the church. I was one of a congregation of six that were gathered around the altar when the service began, and gradually more people began to trickle in. At some point Bishop Breidenthal arrived, but I didn't notice him right away. I think I recognized him just as he was about to take communion from Cricket.


Growing up in the Catholic church, the priesthood was always off limits to me. Now that I have been Episcopalian for almost a decade, the novelty of women as priests has worn off slightly. But as I was taking in this scene of a female priest serving communion to the Bishop of the Diocese of Southern Ohio, something inside me screamed, "This is so freaking cool!"


I'll try to make up some of that math scoring time tomorrow. This was an experience worth participating in.

Videos

Bereavement and the best of intentions

When we went to pick up Brady's ashes from the funeral home, we were given some little "mementos" along with the box that contained my best friend's incinerated remains. I've wanted to say something about this, but haven't had the time, nor the ability to come up with the right words.



The night before Brady died, I was pretty certain that the end was imminent, and finally did that less than joyful web search to find out about pet cremation. I found a page that listed the particulars of how much it cost to have the animal picked up at the vet's office (no charge for that) or picked up at your home (maybe $75? I'm not positive.) The cost of cremation varied depending on the weight of the pet, but the "package" included mementos such as a paw print and fur clippings. It seemed like a sweet enough idea when I first read this. In practice, it kind of rubbed me the wrong way.


Inside a little booklet of poems (of COURSE including the Rainbow Bridge) and some bland "words of wisdom", carefully crafted not to run afoul of anyone's personal beliefs, there was page with a little baggie of fur clippings. As Demetrius and I were getting into our car, the pet services representative lady pointed to some words on the page, adding, "This says where we took the fur clippings from."


What I've discovered is...NO IT BLOODY ISN'T! On the top of the page, the title reads "My Beloved Pet in a Locket". As I read it out loud to Demetrius, I noticed that it rhymed This isn't where you took fur clippings--this is a poem! I'm sure it was quite meaningful to the person who wrote it, and maybe it has brought comfort to others who have read it. But don't tell me, in a factual tone, "this is where we got the fur clippings". I mean, seriously, from around his eyes? That fur is way to short to clip. (And if you're going to give me some fur clippings as a memento, how about including some of that stunning bright white fur from his chest?)

Anyway, I searched, and here's the original poem

Old dog in a locket.
That lies next to my heart
I will always love you
As I did right from the start.


You were right beside me
Through the darkest of my days
It was your kind and gentle nature
That made me want to stay
Now I hold you in my arms
Your breath still warm against my hand
Our hearts still beat together
And I wonder if you understand.

Through the hours that I held you
Before the light did leave your soul
I knew a way to keep you
Forever in my hold.
I snipped the hair from around your eyes
So I would always see
The beauty that surrounds me
Even in times of need

I snipped the hair from around your ears
So I would always hear
Music in the distance
To quiet all my fears.

I snipped the hair from around your back
To bring me strength in time of need
And the power in your essence
Would always be with me.


I snipped the hair from around your heart
That beat in time with mine
So I'd know your love would find me
At some distant time.

And so your life slipped out of mine
On a quiet winter day
But I knew that a part of you
Was always here to stay.


Old dog in a locket.
That lays next to my heart
I will always love
Even though we had to part.

Author Unknown

If you think it's petty of me to complain about this, I ask gently that you please keep that thought to yourself. Something about this whole "closure" experience did not set quite right with me, and after over a month I felt like I needed to at least try to put it into words. It is, as they say, "part of the healing process."


 

Not everybody likes this game

I miss Brady, but I'm happy for Winnie that she now has a dog in the house who's willing to play with her the way she's (apparently) designed to play. I can only imagine the doggie conversation that took place between Winnie and Brady shortly after Winnie came to live here.

Winnie: I'm bored. Wanna play something?

Brady: What did you have in mind?

Winnie: Let's play "Bite each other on the face!"

Brady: I don't think I'm familiar with that one. It doesn't sound like fun.

Winnie: Are you kidding me?! It's the best game EVER! I can't believe you've never played it.

Brady: I don't know--maybe we collies play it, but we call it something else. Tell me about the game--how do you play?

Winnie: Wow--I never dreamed I'd have to explain this. We...bite each other. On...the face.

Why are you looking at me like that? It's fun!

Goose chase

Perkins takes a break

He's been playing "catch" with himself.

Playful Perkins

Dog park

Play time. Winnie made a really compelling case for taking her to the dog park. My primary objection to the idea was that "I'm tiiiiiired! She made the point that, if she didn't get to go to the park, she was going to explode. Then there would be bits of golden retriever everywhere...and cleaning up that kind of mess was bound to be more exhausting than just driving her to the park in the first place. Touche, Winnie.