So, I'm on a nursery rhyme/kiddie lit kick lately. I blame this phenomenon on the impending 18th birthday of my younger child.
One thing I notice about nursery rhymes is that many of them tend to be of counting-down genre similar to "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"...Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, three little angels all dressed in white... But shorter, for the shorter attention span of little children. And minus the alcohol. Still, looking at these songs today, I think that maybe teachers of preschool and kindergarten were desperate to find ways to kill time.
Anyway, about those angels "trying to get to heaven on the end of a kite". Why were angels forced to resort to such crude methods in an ultimately vain attempt to get into heaven? Had they been cast out of heaven? And if so, why?
There are serious theological questions here.
I have learned this week that in the version of "5 Little Monkeys" that many people learned, the physician Mama consulted never actually uttered the words "That's what you get for jumping on the bed!"
If you've never heard that version and think I'm making this up, all you have to do is enter that quote into Google. Such a version exists. According to one source, the doctor says "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!" after the first four monkeys have incurred traumatic head injuries, and only says "That's what you get for jumping on the bed!" after the final monkey has fallen.
Dramatic music sting.
However, when I went to kindergarten, it was "that's what you get" for the first four monkey casualties, and concluded with "no more monkeys jumping on the bed" only after the last one. Pretty much stating the obvious.
By the way, as it happens, when I was two years old, I sustained a head injury from jumping on the bed, falling off, and hitting my head on the wall. I needed stitches. I guess what I am saying here is that I have personal reasons for thinking that the doctor who said "that's what you get..." was a jackass who should have lost his license.
But I come before you today to discuss the case of the Three Little Kittens. I find their mother's parenting strategies troubling. To wit:
May it please the court...surely Mama Cat, aka "mother dear", as the responsible adult in the household, should have seen the flaw in her plan to require her children to wear mittens while eating pie. Especially if that pie was, say, blueberry. She is in no position to call them naughty, as she has clearly set them up to fail.
According to the nursery rhyme, the mother seems prone to mood swings and is unfamiliar with the concept of unconditional love. Couple that with her seemingly arbitrary rules regarding pie-eating etiquette, and it's hard to foresee a future for these kittens that does NOT involve intensive therapy.
One thing I notice about nursery rhymes is that many of them tend to be of counting-down genre similar to "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall"...Five little monkeys jumping on the bed, three little angels all dressed in white... But shorter, for the shorter attention span of little children. And minus the alcohol. Still, looking at these songs today, I think that maybe teachers of preschool and kindergarten were desperate to find ways to kill time.
Anyway, about those angels "trying to get to heaven on the end of a kite". Why were angels forced to resort to such crude methods in an ultimately vain attempt to get into heaven? Had they been cast out of heaven? And if so, why?
There are serious theological questions here.
I have learned this week that in the version of "5 Little Monkeys" that many people learned, the physician Mama consulted never actually uttered the words "That's what you get for jumping on the bed!"
If you've never heard that version and think I'm making this up, all you have to do is enter that quote into Google. Such a version exists. According to one source, the doctor says "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!" after the first four monkeys have incurred traumatic head injuries, and only says "That's what you get for jumping on the bed!" after the final monkey has fallen.
Dramatic music sting.
However, when I went to kindergarten, it was "that's what you get" for the first four monkey casualties, and concluded with "no more monkeys jumping on the bed" only after the last one. Pretty much stating the obvious.
By the way, as it happens, when I was two years old, I sustained a head injury from jumping on the bed, falling off, and hitting my head on the wall. I needed stitches. I guess what I am saying here is that I have personal reasons for thinking that the doctor who said "that's what you get..." was a jackass who should have lost his license.
But I come before you today to discuss the case of the Three Little Kittens. I find their mother's parenting strategies troubling. To wit:
Three little kittens,
Put on their mittens,
And soon ate up the pie;
“Oh, mother dear,
We greatly fear
Our mittens we have soiled.”
“What! Soiled your mittens,
You naughty kittens!”
May it please the court...surely Mama Cat, aka "mother dear", as the responsible adult in the household, should have seen the flaw in her plan to require her children to wear mittens while eating pie. Especially if that pie was, say, blueberry. She is in no position to call them naughty, as she has clearly set them up to fail.
According to the nursery rhyme, the mother seems prone to mood swings and is unfamiliar with the concept of unconditional love. Couple that with her seemingly arbitrary rules regarding pie-eating etiquette, and it's hard to foresee a future for these kittens that does NOT involve intensive therapy.
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